Can You Find "True Love" through Online Dating Sites?

"Yes! Yes! and Yeeeees!" 

That's me replying to my topic of the day.
Yes, I know I sound crazy to some of you but just give me 5minutes of your time and I will tell you why my answer is yes and how this can happen.

I posted on facebook a few days ago about how online dating has helped me know how to read people's minds especially men and it wreaked havoc on my timeline. What most of my friends didn't know is that the statement I posted was very true but my main intention was to get to know how well Kenyans understand online dating. 
Here are my Top 5 comments from my post:

"Online is boring, when will you ever meet"

"Ati Online, Wow" - (Translation: You mean online? wow)

"Online Dating is Overrated" 

"Welcome to Diaspora......"

"The concept of online dating means you're not there physically so anyone will tell you anything just to make you happy or interested. GO SEE YOUR DATE" 

These five comments describe the reaction I get every time I talk to any of my Kenyan friends about online dating. The only one comment that I expected and didn't appear anywhere is: "Hio ni ya wale wanatafta wazungu" meaning "That is only meant for those looking for white men". 

I have been on one of the world's best online dating site Tinder for 2years now and I'm not ashamed of it. I say this because I realized that it's a taboo for a native African woman or man to openly admit to being on an online dating site. According to a Daily Nation article featuring Kenyan online dating scene, the DateMeKenya CEO Ian Isherwood states that: There have been a lot more women willing to participate than men. Clearly, our Kenyan men do not want to feel like they need help to find a good woman or they imagine the women online are hookers for lack of a better word. 
It's such misconceptions that make most people I introduce online dating look at me with a weird eye. Now you understand why I said in the beginning that I'm not ashamed of it?

The ugly truth about meeting strangers online who as my friend said can "say anything to make you happy or interested" is that, there are many in there who are scam artists and psychopaths but that shouldn't harbor all these stereotypes for there are genuine people on the same cloud.

Kenya has a huge number of online dating sites which are genuine but some are just quacky sites trying to play cupid. Anyone joining a site should google and do a little research to see testimonials that are convincing enough before they join any site. I personally did my research and I was curious to know how these sites make their profits. One Kenyan site, Interracial Dating Central, caught my eye and after maneuvering my way in with a fake account, I learned that for me to send a message to someone that catches my eye, I needed to pay Ksh. 135 per week.
This isn't so expensive considering the number of active people available on that site. I lasted only 5minutes on it and I think 5years this site will be making billions because the number of single people like me out here is on the rise.

To all my friends wondering why I opted online, I need you to see the benefits of finding a variety of all species and taste on one site and your freedom to chat with as many as you can at the same time to help you pick your creme de la creme. That's not possible on traditional dating ways that only allow you to meet cool people that may be your type only when you go out clubbing, or to church or to a concert over the weekend. The more open-minded you are the easier it is for you find someone you fancy.

Tips on how to survive on an online dating site:

• Don't be Judgemental 

If you happen to see any church elder on the site, don't go to announce to the whole church. They are on the site for the same reasons as you, instead, swipe them and get to know them, maybe you are their perfect match.

• Read Minds 

Using your 7th or 10th sense won't hurt.  If you hate alcohol, weed or cigarrettes don't swipe anyone holding any of that on their photos. If you still have the stereotype that online dating sites are for hooker-business or sex, don't swipe people in their bikinis or shirtless men because it won't last. You will be judging them with every single word they tell you even if they are genuine souls.

• Kiss and Tell

You obviously can't kiss your online mate but you can virtually kiss their bio and tell. A few days ago I read in an article that if a man is so masculine let them not lie to you that they are doctors. Doctors dont have that much time to workout and look like body builders. It takes almost a whole day for muscles to look that defined.

• Use Real Photos 

I personally dont swipe people who have cars, pets or memes as their images. Im going to date you not your cat and i have read enough memes on facebook so I dont need more. I once swiped a very handsome man who had only one photo on his Bio and we had long mature conversations for a week. Then when he asked for my contact, somthing told me I should ask him for any social media account profile and he came out to say that he wasn't the man on the one image displayed on his bio. I was so mad at him but i leaned one thing; never swipe anyone with less than two non-filtered photos.

• Don't post photos of you holding your Baby or a friend of the Opposite Sex

Your baby isn't looking for love too so don't involve them in your hunt. Posting a photo of you holding a friend of opposite sex doesn't tell us that you're social, it translates to " "you're a player" or "You're engaged and just want casual/ random sex". Yes dear reader, keep an open mind, we also have individuals interested in casual sex  here too.

•  The Description on your Bio is Everything!

This is your selling point. Describing yourself from your interests, to your height, age, to weight enables your potential to chose you from the crowded cloud. This helps in starting conversations that may lead to long term relationships. Always add something funny at the end that can your potential can laugh a little because no one wants boring partners.

• Upgrade to VIP or Gold 

Unlike the Interracial Dating Central that only allows you to start communicating to your matches after you pay Ksh.135, Tinder gives you a chance to manually match people and chat with them for free. However, a friend told me that you can do away with the manual swiping by simply upgrading to Tinder Gold. That way tinder optimizes your matches. You can set your your target match and they do the work for you. All that remains for you is to start conversations with people who swipe you right.

This has been a long blog but I hope it helps many people, not just Kenyans, to do away with their weird online dating stereotypes and that they can confidently and openly talk about it. Online dating sites give you tremendous options to choose from and once you get acquainted with your match and feel comfortable sharing contacts with, you can take it offline and arrange dates or meet ups. Always meet in public places before you get to know that person very well. 

According to an article by Rachel Wambui of the Daily Nation, Date-Me-Kenya hosts speed dating events which allow you to meet people. So don't hold back, You Only Live Once. This is not a "white man's world" and it works. I'm happy to say that I dated someone from Tinder years back and I think I just got my perfect match a month ago from the same site.